"The Crazy Kanuck; RIP Oppositelock" (jukesjukesjukes)
10/14/2016 at 17:27 • Filed to: None
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"The Crazy Kanuck; RIP Oppositelock" (jukesjukesjukes)
10/14/2016 at 17:27 • Filed to: None | 1
| 8 |
A old supervisor who left on mat leave in August came in today. She was pregnant with twins, she only had one with her. I asked if the other one was at home with her husband. She told me that it was stillborn. I did not know how to respond, so after a long awkward (felt like forever) pause I said “I’m sorry for your loss”. It went from 0-dark in fiftyspeed.
ttyymmnn
> The Crazy Kanuck; RIP Oppositelock
10/14/2016 at 17:31 |
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That’s unfortunate, but she has to understand that it was an innocent question, and she has likely answered it before. As the parent of twins, I can’t imagine the thought of losing one, particularly in childbirth. If you get the chance, you might quietly apologize to her. It might make you both feel better.
Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
> ttyymmnn
10/14/2016 at 17:33 |
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Agreed. Don’t beat yourself up. It was well established that she was having twins, the idea that one child might be with the father was not a farfetched idea.
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The Crazy Kanuck; RIP Oppositelock
> ttyymmnn
10/14/2016 at 17:38 |
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She completely understood that is was a innocent question. She kinda quietly laughed after that if she had $1 for every time she said that she get more dipars.
MonkeePuzzle
> The Crazy Kanuck; RIP Oppositelock
10/14/2016 at 17:53 |
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I’ve been on both sides of this. Miscarriages are far more common than one realises, perhaps until you and all your friends are at the child rearing age. Wishing a formerly pregnant friend best of luck, or having similar wished to my wife and I is certainly awkward, but not anything to be held against the well wisher.
Your response was right. And there’s honestly no way around it. Was she to send a communication ahead of her to work it would have been just as awkward. Just no good solution.
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The Crazy Kanuck; RIP Oppositelock
> MonkeePuzzle
10/14/2016 at 17:57 |
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I thought she say it was with her husband or parents, but not an answer that left field. She just stopped by randomly, and most of us knew she was having twins. That’s all we knew, we were going by the info we knew.
Steve in Manhattan
> The Crazy Kanuck; RIP Oppositelock
10/14/2016 at 18:11 |
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Initially I thought, well I wouldn’t have asked that question. Then I realized - you know what, I just might’ve. Perhaps she takes one to breast feed, then switches off with the nanny. I’m sure you think it’s a lot worse than it is - she’s been explaining this for weeks.
When I worked in DC, I offered my seat to a pregnant woman. It quickly became evident that she wasn’t, she was just a thin woman with a belly. Awkward.
Oh, and she took the seat.
shop-teacher
> The Crazy Kanuck; RIP Oppositelock
10/14/2016 at 18:56 |
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Ooofff!!! That’s a rough one.
That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms
> The Crazy Kanuck; RIP Oppositelock
10/14/2016 at 23:04 |
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My neighbors announced they were pregnant with twins, but when she had the baby only one apparently showed up. I’ve never asked what happened, never will.
I actually have a standing policy on pregnant women: ask zero questions, and never assume they’re pregnant. I once had a doctor give me a physical, and she was pretty clearly pregnant. She said she couldn’t drink at a tailgate party because *points at her stomach*, and I’m like nope, not gonna ask, she might be telling me she has a gut bacteria disorder.
Still, can’t fault you for the question, I’m sure she’ll understand that the idea of a still birth isn’t going to occur to most people if they only see one of the kids.